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Say Goodbye

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When I look at him all I can about is how much he’s changed and how much I’ve changed, he probably doesn’t know as much about me as he used to.
‘Why did I have to ask him what was up with him?’
All I ended up doing was pushing him away when he told me, and regretting it.
“Take a picture it’ll lat longer!” I heard him shouting from across the school field where he stood with his friends. ‘No need’ I wasn’t staring for that long.
“Idiot” I muttered going back to my lunch, which thanks to I eat alone. After I rejected his feelings he set out on making the school outcast as revenge, oh and look he succeeded.
“Aww look you’ve finished” he sneered and knocked my lunchbox to the ground. I knelt down and began collecting my things as he and his gang walked away. Oh don’t feel sorry for me, this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. One by one his friends stepped over me, all except .
“Here let me help you” he smiled and stooped down to help me.
“T- thanks” I whispered, my eyes brimming with tears, ’s behaviour never usually got to me, or maybe they were caused by the fact that someone finally had the heart to help me.
“Here” handed me my half finished bottle of water.
“Thanks” I sniffed, standing up and closing my lunchbox.
“He didn’t hurt you did he?” he did sound genuinely worried…
“No more than usual” I smiled falsely before making my way to my next lesson, French with him.

I sat in my usual seat for French, at the back, alone. Even more unfortunately for me and happened to sit in front of me.
“Ah so you haven’t drowned in self pity yet? Shame” snarled as he took his seat. I placed my chin in my hand and looked out of the window so he wouldn’t see the tears that threatened to fall. What was up with me today?
“You okay?” I heard a voice whisper from beside me. On further inspection I turned to see that I hadn’t noticed sit in the seat beside me.
“Yep” I replied and went back to looking out the window.
“Why the hell are you sitting next to that!” hissed, well aware that I was listening.
“Because I don’t think what you’re doing is right, it’d all a stupid, unfair cover up for the crush you have on here. Oh sorry, THAT, as you called her!” the look on ’s face was priceless and I couldn’t help but laugh causing to flash me a smile before carrying on with his work.

Thinking about it now, maybe it was wrong for me to laugh at , but at least now I know he still has the feelings he had a while back.
“You think you’re SO good now don’t you?” spat as he came up behind me on my way home from school.
“Excuse me?” I stopped and turned to look at him ‘What the hell is he on about?’
“Turning against me!” “Oh that” I said rolling my eyes “It’s not my fault your friend finally saw sense!”
After that he decided he’d follow me home, freak. Why couldn’t I have just not asked him what was up, then we’d be walking home together rather than him playing stalker and me the victim? “Why?” I thought out loud.
“Why what?” he asked somewhat less vicious
“Why couldn’t I have just not asked you what was wrong? Why couldn’t I have just been as brave as you and admitted I had feelings for you?” I was crying again, damn him!
“Because we can’t and I don’t know” he sighed and walked towards me.
“Does your mum still work the late shift on a Tuesday?” I nodded and smiled that he remembered that “Can we talk at your house then?”
“Yeah” I grinned
“Good” grabbing my hand he led me home.

“So what did you wanna talk about?” I asked sitting next to him on my couch
“Nothing” he laughed “I just wanted to sit with you, you know like we used to do” I smiled remembering that on Tuesdays would come round and keep me company until my mum got home from work. Well until we stopped talking of course. He leaned back on the couch and I leant against him, his arm around me.
“I’m sorry” I whispered breaking the silence and looking up at him.
“What for?” he looked cute when he was confused
“For rejecting your feelings”
“I’m over that” he chuckled and rubbed his hand up and down my arm in a friendly way.
“Erm o- o- k” I stuttered “I’ll be back in a minute” if he was over it then why was he s horrible to me? I ran upto my room, buried my head into my pillow and screamed. I screamed because it hurt and everytime I thought I about what he’d just said it seemed to cut me up inside make me feel worse than I ever had.
?” my screaming stopped, as did the tears, when I heard his voice.
“Why are you crying?” I felt him site down beside me on my bed
“Because” I mumbled into the pillow “Come here” he helped me sit up and hugged me tightly “Now why were you crying?” Looking at him I found myself to those perfect eyes of his.
“I- I- I- can’t say” I stammered pulling away from his embrace before looking at my hands.
“Fine” he sighed sounding less than happy as he stood to leave.
“Ican’ttellyoubecauseI’llgethurt” I blurted out not wanting him to leave
“By who?” he asked worriedly “You” I looked up and found him looking at the floor.
“I’ll see you in school” he said rushing out of the room. I followed in an attempt to make him stay but no words I thought of could make him do that. So from three stairs up, I pounced onto him as he picked his bag up off the floor.
“What the hell?!” he shouted
“Sorry, but erm- I had to give you something before you left” and so I kissed him the one thing I’m sure both of us had wanted for a long time. Pulling away I looked at him to see he still had his eyes closed. ‘Speak!’
“Did I dream that?” he muttered
“I hope not” I said boldly, me still lying on top of him.
“So if you felt the same way you could have just said, I somehow don’t think it was necessary for you to jump on me” he grinned
“I had to say goodbye” I pouted before he captured my lips in another kiss of many.

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