“Calm down, they will soon!” grabbed at his wrists and restrained as he got more and more out of control.

“But I never- told- no” started but soon broke down at the sight of something behind .

“No what ?” unaware of the doctors presence turned to see what had caused to cry even more.

“Mr ?” the doctor asked.

“Err yeah?” ’s face dropped at the solemn expression the doctor was wearing “No” he whispered as he held one hysterical and let a thousand tears glide silently down his face.

“I’m very sorry, there was nothing else we could do” the doctor nodded and left the waiting room. Left the two teenage boys to wallow in grief as they mourned over a girl they both loved but in different ways.

’s POV

“No I can’t stay any longer if I do I know he’ll hurt me worse than he already has” a young tired looking girl sobbed as her older cousin cuddled her tightly.

“ he loves you, why can’t you see that?”

“Maybe because he’s hardly ever home!” she snapped and stormed up to the room her and shared. and my cousin had been together for about a year now.

“Why do you make me cry?” I heard asked the open room.

FLASHBACK

“Well if it’s not what it looks like then what the hell is it?” she screamed and flung the tabloid magazine at .

“I- I- don’t know but I swear it isn’t true!” replied

“I don’t know whether I can trust you” she sneered

“But we love each other, you have to”

“But- one more chance, god I’m a fool for taking you back” she chuckled lightly.

“But a pretty fool” hugged his girlfriend tightly and rocked her slowly.

“Promise me something”

“Anything” he smiled and looked her in the eye.

“You’ll never hurt me, no matter what girl comes along”

“I promise” unfortunately for she didn’t see ’s fingers cross at the last second…

END OF FLASHBACK

“Hey what’s up?” bounced into the room and pulled me out of my train of thought.

“I think I’m regretting ever asking to come stay with us” I trailed off

“What? Why?” Poor he did get confused VERY easily

“Oh it’s just the whole ‘her and ’ thing she gets so upset and worked up about it, it’s just not good for her to worry about him all the time” I sighed and adjusted my position on the couch.

“Oh I wondered why she looked so down lately” sighed before turning his attention to the TV.

“Yeah apparently he’s cheating on her, but it isn’t the first time” I explained “And if I found out that what has told me is true then will be six feet under before he can say he’s sorry” I growled dangerously.

’s POV

I heard the door slam and footsteps enter the living room. Must be him, typical doesn’t even bother to check I’m ok. Idiot. I leant back against the wall as I sit on the windowsill and look out at the garden the water from the rain earlier glistens under the soft moonlight.

“WHY THE HELL WOULD I CHEAT ON HER!” I heard scream. Oh joy asked him about it.

“I’M MERELY ASKING BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN OUT SO BLOODY MUCH LATELY I’VE HARDLY SEEN YOU AND TOGETHER!” I heard bellow. The argument continued this way for about five minutes until I heard and find the courage to step in and stop it. Then I heard footsteps thunder up the stairs, they came to rest outside my door. I breathed in as the door swung open and a very angry stepped into the room closing the door after him.

“H- Hi” I squeaked I was getting scared from the look on his face, a very unpredictable look I couldn’t read. He leant against the door, crossed his arms and looked at the floor. He crossed his right foot over his left before he spoke.

“Why did you tell I’ve been cheating on you?” he continued looking at his feet as he said this in a scarily low voice.

“I didn’t” I said defiantly looking at him, I knew he could feel me looking at him as he squirmed slightly as I said this.

“Well said otherwise” he whispered “I thought you trusted me, I trusted you”

“Don’t talk to me about not trusting you!” I cried jumping up from the window ledge.

“And why the hell not!” his eyes ablaze he came closer.

“Because you’re not the one whose been sat here night after night wondering when and if you’re coming home that night” I shrieked “And a hell of a lot the time it’s an if!”

“What are you trying to say?” he narrowed his eyes further.

“That maybe I’m right in thinking you don’t love me anymore” my head dropped as I saw his face fall. I may have just ended our relationship for good.

“How can you think I don’t love you?” however silent his tears were I could hear the choking of his words as he tried to talk through the tears.

“You’re never here. You never hold me, kiss me or sleep next to me at night. But what gets me the most is your think none of that affects me” I could feel the hot tears streaming down my face now.

“But you never said anything. I assumed you were fine about it”

“You of all people should know by now that when a woman says she’s fine she’s really not!” I snapped.

“What’s that supposed to mean!” he was now towering over me.

“It means that you’ve probably had so many women behind my back you should be an expert on the way women operate!” I could see the anger bubbling within him.

“What’s the matter don’t like hearing the truth about you?” I teased him getting sick of his angered silence.

“SHUT THE HELL UP!” he roared and pushed me violently onto the bed.

“?” I sobbed scared of what he was doing. He looked at me and pure hatred shone through his eyes.

“Be quiet” he whispered.

“But-” the look he shot me shut me up straight away. I watched him pace up and down before he lay next to me.

“No matter how much you tell he’ll always believe me over you and to be honest I’ve never liked you” he whispered it in a way that was slightly seductive yet hurtful.

“Oh” it was all I could say.

“Have your stuff back in the spare room by the time I come back” he quickly got up and grabbed a jacket on his way out if the room.

I raced to the bathroom and threw up. Slumping down next to the toilet I cried. Cried for all the times hadn’t hugged me, for all the times he hadn’t kissed me and for all the sleepless nights he caused when he never came home. I cried for loving him. I heard muffled voices before the front door slammed. Rushing back to my room I locked the door quickly behind me and sat on the end of the bed hugging myself tightly. I listened intently to world around me, I could hear the TV downstairs the idle chat between and and the cars whizzing past in the front of the house. I had a thought; this is what he’s reduced me to. Living in the dark, hidden away from life and all because I’m waiting for HIM.

I leant across to open the chest of drawers in front of me. Out of the second draw I pulled out a packet of painkillers. I changed quickly into a silk strappy nightdress before I swallowed the contents of the packet. Sinking back onto the bed I clutched my mobile to my ear and called .

“What?” he spat

“I’m calling to tell you something you may already know” I whispered

“Is this going somewhere?”

“I’m calling to tell you I’m sorry that I told those things and that I love you and I’m sorry I threw it all away but I won’t last another day alone and I’m really calling to tell you that I love you and I wish I could be-” I coughed as the pills began to kick in “I wish I could stay with you forever but I can’t and that’s why I won’t be here when you get home, I’ll be in a better place, a happy one” I cried quietly into the phone. I curled into a ball as he spoke.

“ what are you on about? I didn’t mean move out of the house just out of the room, give each other some space, please I swear I’m not cheating I’m sorry!” he was getting hysterical but I couldn’t tell through the drowsiness.

“I’m sorry too ” I whispered and hung up.

’s POV I climbed the stairs quickly not bothering to shut the door. I found my bedroom door locked, but she was gone.

“” I called out as I knocked heavily on the door.

’s POV

I can hear him knocking on the door but I can’t call out I’m far too tired. My limbs feel so heavy and all I can think about is him. Taking one last breathe I whisper “Goodnight ”

’s POV “Dougs what’s up? Why are you crying?” asked as he reached the top of the stairs.

“She- I-”

“What have you done?” he asked in a serious tone. I blurted out what had happened in the past half hour. The rest happened in one big blur. The door being broke down, the ambulance arriving, crying in the car on the way to the hospital.

The boys found in the waiting room as soon as they got there. “Can we see her yet?” asked

“No not yet” sighed

“Why won't they let me see her?” cried as he tried to make his way past .

“Calm down Dougs they will soon!” grabbed at his wrists and restrained as he got more and more out of control.

“But I never- told- no” started but soon broke down at the sight of something behind .

“No what Dougs?” unaware of the doctors presence turned to see what had caused to cry even more.

“Mr Judd?” the doctor asked.

“Err yeah?” ’s face dropped at the solemn expression the doctor was wearing “No” he whispered as he held one hysterical and let a thousand tears glide silently down his face.

“I’m very sorry, there was nothing else we could do” the doctor nodded and left the waiting room.

About an hour later and had left to get something to eat soon after the doctor returned.

“You can see her erm body now” he said faintly.

guided me down the corridors behind the doctor. Entering the room I rushed to her side and cried more tears.

“I’m sorry, why did you leave me you know you shouldn’t listen to anything I say!” I sobbed and watched slip out of the room to let me have some time alone with her.

“I love you ” I whispered kissing her hand. Looking closely I found a small piece of paper in her hand. I prised it from her grasp and read what was on it:

She falls asleep and all she thinks about is you,

She falls asleep and all she dreams about is you,

When she’s asleep the air she’s breathing is,

For you are why she wants to live,

She’s not got that much more to give.

Please save me I’ve been waiting.

I love you x

“I love you too and believe me I tried to save you but I was too late, you were gone”